


Those Damned Eyes of Gold

by Azreath



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Illumi Zoldyck, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Illumi is desperately in love, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, Light BDSM, Light Masochism, Light Voyeurism, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Soft Ending, Top Hisoka (Hunter X Hunter), Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azreath/pseuds/Azreath
Summary: Hisoka proceeded to move back up to Illumi’s face and enraptured his lips with his own.That act, so mere compared to the sins they would indulge in later in the night, such a normal act for people to commit, regardless of its simplicity, made the black hole of emotions which had eaten at Illumi’s chest for oh-so long crashing down.I love you, I love you, I love you, Hisoka-He worked his mouth hungrily against the redhead’s. He knew he didn’t know what love was, but this felt like everything he imagined it would. The surging feelings in his chest, the desperation, the craving; hecravedHisoka with every fiber of his being andhe never wanted to let him go.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 15
Kudos: 352





	Those Damned Eyes of Gold

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting smut, so feel free to give me suggestions or criticisms, I definitely want to get better and the best way to do that is to practice with the advice from others in your mind. 
> 
> Anyways, I love the idea of a possessive, desperate, and horny Illumi so I made this. I also made it a bit lovey-dovey so it isn't just sex for the sake of sex. I do have more plans for kinkier fics in the future, though, if that's more your cup of tea. I hope you enjoy.

God, he was disgusting. What would anyone think if they saw him like this? 

Illumi Zoldyck, the eldest son of the famous family of Zoldyck assassins, currently stood silently in a cool hotel room somewhere north of where his current target resided. He had estimated that there was a 78 percent possibility that it would take another full day to fulfill his end of the contract, so he decided it would in his best interest to grab a hotel room for the night. There was no need for night travel due to the nature of the person he was after. Alone with the bright LEDs off, the only light that illuminated the dark room was that which filtered in through the cracks of the window panes, the moonlight reflecting off Illumi’s almost translucent skin. It was dead silent spare for the sounds of traffic that coursed through the city streets below. He made sure the door was locked before moving onto the bed.

He was sinful, dressed in nothing but a set of lacy black lingerie. The briefs fit snugly, defining the curves of his ass and thighs oh so perfectly while the top hugged his figure, allowing just enough skin to peek through to show the curves and enunciation on his muscles. His skin was flushed slightly, the idea of anyone catching him like this both scaring him and arousing him greatly.

You see, this was his dirty little secret. He was a near-nymphomaniac. He craved the feeling of another’s skin on his own. He spent nights lying awake lusting over someone he thought he never could have, touching himself under the covers as he fantasized and fantasized his pain away. Tonight was no different as he palmed at his length through the tight fabric.

Sweet nothings left his lips in vain.

“Hisoka…”

It was foolish of him. So, disgustingly foolish of him to fall in love. And with _that_ man of all people. Illumi could never love anyone lest his entire life’s work be ruined, but he couldn't help the desires that wrenched through his soul in the late hours of the night. _Especially when he felt so alone._

Except...

He was almost too engrossed in his own pleasure to notice the slight sliver of aura that emerged from the darkest corner of the room. 

_He wasn’t alone._

His dark eyes widened as he shot forward, faster than the human eye could follow, and fully intent on reaching his pins to attack. However, he was off by a mere second. Slender fingers wrapped around his wrists and shoved him back against the bed. He struggled, nen flaring up in an act of both power and defiance, but the second he took in the aura of the other, he froze, and the tightness in his pants only grew even more. 

“How long were you standing there..?”

A pair of amber eyes glistened in the darkness as the figure leaned forward, bearing a grin to show that he knew he held all control over the situation. 

“Long enough.”

“Hisoka…”

“Don’t fret, my dear Illumi. I only wish you had told me your true feelings sooner. It would have prevented a lot of lonely nights.”

Illumi didn’t get a chance to respond. He loved being called names and he practically melted under the red-head’s touch.

Hisoka trailed his slender fingers along Illumi’s pale skin, hands delving into places they had longed to touch for far too long. Trailing across the curves of his back, down to his hips, then his thighs- the magician squeezed at the soft flesh. The action caused Illumi to shudder. He could tell that this wasn’t an act of manipulation, or an act of mindless lust. Perhaps Hisoka returned the passion Illumi held in regards to him after all. Although he knew Hisoka usually acted on a whim with nothing on his mind but his own self-indulgence, this felt too real to withstand, and the way his body _yearned_ for the other’s was something _he was in no way going to resist._

“Do you want me?” Hisoka inquired, and a slight whimper left Illumi’s lips between breathless moans.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Illumi stared with half-lidded eyes as Hisoka slid down his torso, pressing delicate kisses to the skin of his stomach as he trailed further downward, stopping only when he reached the rim of the lingerie. 

“To think you wear something as lewd as this while thinking of me… It really turns me on, you know that?” 

He proceeded to move back up to Illumi’s face and enraptured his lips with his own. 

That act, so mere compared to the sins they would indulge in later in the night, such a normal act for people to commit, regardless of its simplicity, made the black hole of emotions which had eaten at Illumi’s chest for oh-so long come crashing down. 

_I love you, I love you, I love you, Hisoka-_

He worked his mouth hungrily against the redhead’s. He knew he didn’t know what love was for sure, but this felt like everything he imagined it would. The surging feelings in his chest, the desperation, _the craving_ ; he craved Hisoka with every fiber of his being and _he never wanted to let him go._

Hisoka pulled back, and moved to work his mouth at Illumi’s neck.

The assassin’s porcelain skin glistened with a sheen of slight sweat, the taste of salt and sex pungent on the tongue that ran down his perfect flesh. He could hardly wait. Unbeknownst to the man on top of him, he had never done anything like this with another before. Many had tried to bed the eldest Zoldyck’s son, few had managed to even get a slight touch, and even those had been a means to an end. A way to get his target to drop their guard, to show the vulnerability he wanted to flay open so that he could kill what lay beneath. But this was _different_. _Hisoka was different._

Illumi couldn’t place his finger on what had caused this change in feelings to occur. Perhaps it was the compliments thrown his way, the light touches placed on his hip whenever the other walked by, the way those eyes shimmered with such a knowing look. Regardless, they were here now. Illumi slowly dropping his guard with every ginger touch that was placed on his body.

_More. Give me more._

He couldn't beg, it was too unlike him. He instead, allowed a small whimper to escape past his lips. Hisoka quirked a brow, and his talon-like nails tightened their grip on Illumi’s waist. The pain felt so good, _too good_. The primal desire that coursed through his body had him digging his own nails into his palm to avoid bucking his hips up against the magician’s.

Hisoka’s mouth worked without hesitation against his skin, teeth grazing down his neck to his collarbone, where he finally, and much to Illumi’s satisfaction, sank his teeth in just enough to draw blood. The redhead savoured that metallic taste and the red that stained his lips and teeth; Illumi could tell by the way he hesitated just enough to cause a sudden insurgence of impatience. 

“Hisoka.”

The utterance of his name was the closest Illumi suspected he would ever get to begging. He knew Hisoka knew this as well, coaxing the magician’s hand ever lower.

“Touch me.”

Underneath the lacy set of black lingerie, Illumi’s hard length strained against the thin fabric, absolutely desperate for any attention his lover could offer. Were they lovers? He didn’t know. And at this point in time, he couldn't care less. He didn’t care about what his relationship with Hisoka was labeled as so long as the redhead was _his_. Hisoka was his. _Hisoka, Hisoka-_

“Hisoka!” 

Illumi threw his head back and let out a sweet moan as Hisoka ran his tongue down his length through the fabric, hips bucking up into the touch. A _very_ patient Hisoka wouldn’t allow such- he grabbed the assassin by his hips and held him down. He peered up and tilted his head at an angle to strike, mouth enclosing on the clothed erection, groaning on his friend's member while sending vibrations from the waves of sound.

_Don’t stop- whatever you do don’t stop._

Illumi whimpered, entangling his fingers in Hisoka’s cherry red locks. It felt goddamn amazing- his eyes fluttered closed as he struggled to retain his composure. 

Finally, so softly, Hisoka’s hands found the edge of Illumi’s briefs. He ran a finger along the brim, slipping them off in a manner that coaxed a sweet whimper to leave Illumi’s lips. The release, even if it was just one layer, felt so goddamn pleasurable. Hisoka took Illumi’s length into his and pumped it a few times, much to the assassin’s glee. His legs shook at the foreign feeling and he dug his nails into the sheets, hips bucking up into the touch and a shaky cry escaping his lips when Hisoka leaned forward and let his hot breath graze the sensitive skin. 

“You’re so beautiful, Illumi.” 

The raven tightened his grip, reflexively, intimately, eyes widening and breathing becoming rapid. Beautiful. Beautiful. _Beautiful_. His lips parted on a labored, shaking inhale. Was this really what Hisoka thought of him? Did he really see him as beautiful? If it was a trick, it was the cruelest thing he could ever have done to him thus far. The flames in his heart roared to life once more at such a praise. Illumi was insatiable and he reached out, entangling his fingers in Hisoka’s wild hair and he breathed out as if he were confessing a sin before a priest. 

“More.”

It was a demand, not a request. He was too far gone now. Even if Hisoka wanted, Illumi doubted he would be able to let him leave. He needed more, more of Hisoka’s touch, more of Hisoka’s praise, _more of Hisoka._

Illumi was thrown into a haze of euphoria as Hisoka worked his mouth against him, visibly palming himself through his pants which only turned Illumi on further.

_He wants me, oh god, he wants me._

He groaned at the feeling of the Magician's skilled mouth. Those damned gold eyes glimmered softly before a particularly hard thrust from Illumi caused them to roll back and close. With confidence, he sucked down hard and took Illumi to the hilt as he continued to fuck himself into Hisoka’s mouth without any remorse. It felt too amazing to resist. 

“Ngh, Hisoka, I’m- I’m getting close.”

Of course Hisoka wasn’t going to stop, the bastard. He was fully intent on giving Illumi all the pleasure in the world. He pulled off for a split second, offering the raven-haired man a smile far too soft for the situation they were in, and running his tongue along the head of his cock. 

“Come undone for me, Illumi.”

Hisoka’s mouth returned to Illumi’s cock and the amount of delicious friction and warm wetness wrenched a series of shameless moans from deep within him.

“Do you have any idea how perfect you are to me, Illumi? Even when we’re separated, you’re constantly on my mind. Your power, your grace- I’ve been addicted to you since the first time our eyes met.” 

Hisoka looked at Illumi with a look so filled with intimacy, Illumi _relished_ in those eyes. Those damn amber eyes. 

_“I want you to indulge in your deepest desires. I want to make you **mine.”** _

The combination of mental and physical pleasure that Hisoka and his words gave Illumi sent him over the edge, his grip tightened hard enough to rip the sheets and he screamed out in pleasure at the waves of euphoria that coursed over his body.

_But Hisoka would not stop._

He continued to suck at Illumi’s cock, his throat tightening around the length as he swallowed every drop of Illumi’s release with a shaky groan. The overstimulation made him whine, his eyes fluttered closed and he threw his head back. 

“Hhh- Hisoka! It’s too much-” 

Illumi was almost too far gone to notice when Hisoka slid a finger inside of him, but as his gaze slid sidelong and the foreign feeling pricked at him, he jolted upwards and pushed Hisoka off of him.

“My apologies, I probably should have warned you but you were so overstimulated, I thought it would be easier to prepare you while you were distracted.”

Hisoka’s voice was low, sensual. The noise of it only added to the aura of desire that filled the air. Only now when Hisoka was sitting across from him did Illumi notice how equally indulged in all of this he was. His cherry locks were disheveled, falling into his flushed, makeup-smeared face. It painted a beautiful picture; the only flaw was that Hisoka was still wearing his damn clothes. 

Illumi advanced on him once more. 

“Let me take these off.”

He leaned into Hisoka’s larger figure, grazing his jawline and tender parts of his neck with his tongue, he bobbed his head to every moment and stroke. Gingerly he slid his hands under Hisoka’s crop top, pulling off the sorry excuse for a shirt and tossing it to the side. He then moved to take off the undershirt and exhaled sharply when he noticed just how hot Hisoka’s skin was. This was the most exposed he had ever been. The most exposed Hisoka had ever been to him. Illumi couldn’t help but let the intimacy overcome him, crashing their lips together and refusing to pull away from even a second as he _tore_ Hisoka’s clothes off of him. No longer would he hold back his feelings, no longer would he be a slave to the beliefs of his parents. Hisoka was _his_. He was Hisokas. _He would never have it any other way._

“My, my, my, Illumi.” 

Hisoka grinned into the kiss and began to grind down into Illumi’s thigh, and god he would have been a fool if he did anything but hoist it up in rhythm with Hisoka’s movements. 

_I want you, I want you, I want you._

“May I prepare you now?” Hisoka inquired, pulling away from Illumi’s desperate grasp so that his golden eyes could meet the assassin’s ebony ones. 

Illumi nodded slowly. That was the only way they would be able to proceed with this, correct? Although he wasn’t nearly pleased with the idea of having anything foreign near, much less in his ass, he would trust Hisoka enough to go through with it. _He would do anything for Hisoka._

The Magician showed that he was pleased with a grin, and moved to one of the hotel drawers to pull out a bottle of lube.

Illumi’s brows furrowed. How many times had Hisoka done something like this to know where hotels kept such an item?

Hisoka’s movements (much to Illumi’s surprise and delight) were noticeably shaky with arousal. He popped open the cap and squirted a good amount of the liquid onto his fingers, spreading it over them before he moved back over to Illumi. That action is what made it click.

“Wait.”

He pointed to Hisoka’s hand.

“Your nails are sharp, it’s going to hurt. Let me do it.”

“Illumi, my dear. Trust me. It will feel strange, but it won’t hurt.”

Hisoka ran his tongue across his lips and his gaze on Illumi was so strong he couldn’t help but submit. Taking the silence as confirmation, Hisoka gently slipped a single finger in.

Illumi tensed and pulled back, the tightening around his finger as he struggled to hold back his instincts which were by all means telling him to attack hisoka. 

“It hurts.”

“Relax, it will feel good soon.”

Illumi reluctantly compiled. It felt like Hisoka was prodding around inside him, his finger pushed in and out with steady thrusts. Having been around Hisoka for so long, very few of his antics surprised him. Yet as Illumi struggled to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling his eyes settled on admiring Hisoka’s body. Being shirtless did nothing but accentuate his toned arms, but it also revealed much more. Parts of his body Illumi had fantasized about for a long time. His waist was trim. Illumi guessed it wasn’t much bigger than his own, but where he was all lean in limbs and muscle, Hisoka was built thicker, a weapon in more than just ability. Illumi navigated his gaze lower. His inhale was slow, but his exhale was twice as much.

Hisoka was more than just noticeably hard, his cock strained against the fabric of his pants and Illumi wanted nothing more than to tear them off and give him all the pleasure he wanted. 

He had gotten so invested in his addiction with Hisoka’s body that he hadn’t noticed that Hisoka had added three fingers inside of him, now prodding around as if he was searching for something instead of stretching him out. 

Then, all of a sudden, he found it.

Illumi’s back arched and a chorus of delicious moans flew past his lips as Hisoka hit that bundle of nerves inside of him he was searching for, the pleasure near overwhelming as his length jolted up with full arousal.

“See? There we go.”

Hisoka pulled his fingers out, much to Illumi’s dismay, but when he began to finally take off his pants, Illumi sat up with a jolt to assist. _He never wanted to stop touching him._

He ran his delicate fingers across Hisoka’s muscular body, tracing the annunciation of his abs, down to his v line, and slipped them under the brim of his pants while his other hand refused to leave the comforting heat of his skin. He finally pulled them down, licking his lips in arousal as he saw Hisoka’s length strain against the fabric of his briefs. Illumi had to resist striking then and there, the sight turned him on immensely but the temptation of the main act was far too strong to resist. He pulled the briefs off as well, and tossed them to the side of the room where they were certain to be forgotten. 

_Touch me, fuck me, make me yours. I need you._

Illumi’s dark eyes met Hisoka’s golden ones once more, and he may as well have been Atlas trying to bear the weight of the world for how it made him feel. He would do anything, Hisoka need only ask it of him.

The redhead was getting impatient, Illumi could tell by the way his movements quicked with every passing second as he pushed Illumi onto the bed, as he aligned himself with his entrance as practically shook as he waited for confirmation that what he was going to do was okay.

And by god, Illumi would have been a fool if he didnt wrap his legs around Hisoka and pull him closer with his eyes burning with a hunger for _more._

Hisoka pushed in, letting out a moan as the tightness overcame him. Illumi’s body had almost gone utterly limp for the pressure and he broke out into a gasping fit, feeling deliciously suffocated by Hisoka’s length; he couldn’t fathom the thoughts racing through his mind. There was simply no thinking straight in these circumstances. No matter how much he desired to scream- whether it be Hisoka’s name, a cry of pain, a moan of pleasure, nothing could escape his lips. He was far too breathless, far too pleased, far too overwhelmed. Finally, after years and years of waiting, and longing, and loving, _Hisoka was his and his alone._

“H-Hisoka…” He finally managed to breathe out, thankful that his lover had been kind enough to wait for him to give the word of approval before fucking him into oblivion. 

_“Move.”_

Hisoka nodded, his cherry locks falling into his face as he thrusted into Illumi, coming undone with every movement- Illumi was faring no better. The spike of pleasure that coursed through him when Hisoka angled himself in such a manner as to hit his sweet spot, when Hisoka moved his hips, he let all shame and dignity leave him and he moaned and whined for more. 

_More. Give me more. Let me indulge in your deepest desires._

Hisoka quickened his pace, hips rolling forward, desperate to push even more pleasure into the man underneath him. His hand wrapped around Illumi’s length as he found himself nearing the edge far more quickly than he expected. Ever further into the pit of lust, Illumi wanted to make Hisoka moan for him. _Crave him._

He was already so close to his release. He sank his teeth into his lip as he let out another howl of pure euphoria, his back arching at the unbearable high that would just not go away. His mind was clouded in a haze of sin and he attempted to roll his hips, to get that feeling deeper, but failed and simply squirmed as Hisoka pounded into him. 

“Hisoka- Ple-Please- Ahhhah!~”

The redhead offered no more than a symphony of moans of his own, hoisting Illumi’s waist up so he could strike at a better angle, hand pumping around his cock. 

“Illumi, oh god, Illumi- You feel so fucking good, I can’t resist.”

His aura flared out as he neared his release, and the feeling of Nen around his body caused Illumi to radiate some of his own, no doubt sending Hisoka’s mind even further into a gaze of ecstasy.

“Illumi!”

He had been right, Hisoka partially shook, his obsession the power sending him into a fit where he could little more than moan out Illumi’s name and fuck into him relentlessly.

“Illumi, Illumi, Illumi- Agh!~”

He exhaled, and finally, oh so finally, he came hard- and Illumi followed shortly thereafter. White hot waves of pleasure overcame them both and they clung onto each other as if once they let go they would never be reunited. Even once they came down from their highs, and Hisoka had collapsed on the space on the bed next to him, Illumi was scared to relinquish his hold on the magician. 

With the drug of lust no longer plaguing his mind, his fears came crashing down around him. Hisoka must have just been using him. A mere sexual act for no purpose other than that of physical pleasure. There was nothing else in it for him, therefore why would he do such a thing? The words of praise and intimacy that had left Hisoka’s mouth had only been said in the heat of the moment, nothing more. They carried no deeper meaning.

“Hisoka.”

Illumi hadn’t meant to begin to speak, but there was no going back now. He supposed that at least he could get the answers he wanted. 

“Yes, Illumi?”

“May I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“What did you gain from this?”

In the darkness, the sheets rustled, and Illumi felt Hisoka’s hand move gingerly from the sheets onto his cheek. That gesture was the thing that cracked the glass. Illumi couldn’t help but let out a choked exhale as the emotions came crashing down around him. He no longer cared what anyone thought of him. He just wanted Hisoka. That soft caress, full of nothing but love-filled intent, Illumi grasped onto Hisoka and he never wanted to let him go.

“I meant everything I said.” Hisoka whispered.

“You matter to be more than you know, my dear Illumi. You are an addiction I cannot escape, and not one I want to. You mean everything to me.”

Hisoka paused, as if weighing the meaning of the next words he was going to say.

“I don’t know if I have the ability to love. If I can, then I love you. If I can’t, then this is the closest I will ever get to it.”

Illumi’s grip tightened and he almost let out a sob. Had he not been used to years upon years of loneliness, betrayal, and pain, he suspected he would have started crying into the magician’s arms. 

“Hisoka…”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever leave me.”

The redhead smiled in the darkness as he coaxed a hand through Illumi’s hair.

_“I don’t plan on it.”_


End file.
